Killing Comparison
So I’ve got a good one for you guys today.
Modern culture really encourages comparison. It’s literally everywhere. Consumerism is based upon convincing you that it’s important for you to look, live, and be a certain way, and they use all sorts of tricks in order to set a standard for you to compare yourself to. Movies and TV shows create stereotypical life scenarios that we compare our experiences to.
And then there’s social media.
Now listen. I really like social media. There’s a trend now among Millennials where people are distancing themselves from it because they see how harmful it is, and I bless that. It’s awesome. But I’ll be honest, I haven’t really caught that revelation yet. I only use one social media platform, Instagram, and I think it’s a lot of fun. But I’m not about to sit here and act like it isn’t an absolute minefield when it comes to comparison. People constantly compare their lives to the curated snapshots that they see of other people on social media. It affects some people more than others, but we’ve all done it. And there’s also the opposite end of the spectrum, where we’re hungry for attention and so we create a perfect profile, practically hoping that people will think we have the best lives ever, which in some sense seems to be akin to creating a stumbling block for your brother or sister.
To make matters worse, we make room for comparison, because we treat it as a useful motivational tool. We pair it with condemnation, and we think, “Maybe if I beat myself up over this enough, I’ll generate the passion I need to put in the work to be like so-and-so. If I keep looking at Jennifer’s figure or Mark’s six pack and comparing it to my body, maybe I’ll shame myself into the gym. I do, after all, need a standard to measure myself against right? How do I know if I’m actually on the right track if I’m not looking at the people around me and measuring myself against them?”
As I said at the beginning, this sort of thinking is reinforced over and over again by our culture, to the point where it seems entirely rational. And if we were “mere humans” like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:3, these might be fair points. But we are not mere humans. The same power that rose Jesus from the dead lives within us. We have the greatest Comforter, Teacher, and Guide in Holy Spirit. So our rules are a little different. We don’t need to compare ourselves to other people in order to know if we are in the right. In John 16:7-11, Jesus says, “Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: of sin because they do not believe in me; of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; of judgment because the ruler of this world is judged.” Holy Spirit is your standard! Jesus was the ultimate role model, the only One worth comparing yourself to. And as He said, since He is in heaven now, seated at the right hand of the Father, Holy Spirit is here to convict us of righteousness. If we’re ever off track, He will let us know. Our job is to stay in communion with Him so that we can hear His voice, and to expose our hearts to Him and allow Him to search us and transform our minds. This is the importance of the secret place, where God molds you and transforms you. Everything flows from this place.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
— Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)
Life is all about seeking God. When you find Him, and when you catch on to what He’s doing, everything else gets added to you because He won’t withhold any good thing from you. We have a tendency to act like God is alive and active in some situations (like healing, prophecy, etc.), but totally dead in others (like provision for day to day needs). Stop putting God in a box! In the same way He’ll give you a word for a complete stranger, He’ll also tell you when you’re messing up! You don’t have to create strategies to control yourself by your own strength. Self control is a gift given to you by God. It’s a fruit of the Spirit, and it is produced by spending time in His presence, not by you trying to conjure it up. If you want to work, work at being with God, getting in the Word, and letting it transform you from the inside out. That’s where the real work is. Don’t strive needlessly! It is the will of God for you to be at peace, resting in Him.
Also, comparison doesn’t produce any good fruit. It always results in two things: one, you tear yourself down, and/or two, you tear down the person you’re comparing yourself to. Let’s go back to Instagram. If you see a picture of one of your friends having a good ‘ol time with her boyfriend, this is how comparison responds: “Wow. They’re perfect. I don’t have that. I suck.” Or, “Wow. They look perfect. But they can’t really be that great. They probably fight all the time. Why does she keep posting these pictures trying to convince everyone she has such a perfect life? She’s so annoying.” Or any combination of these two. None of these responses are good, even as thoughts!
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
— Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Let’s take this scripture seriously, guys. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” This isn’t passive! When this attitude starts to pop up, smack it down with authority! Our goal is to build one another up, encouraging each other to be all that we can be in Christ. Anything that is not that comes from the enemy, and we want no part of it!
Lastly, always remember, you are incredibly unique and filled with purpose. You were not an accident. God wanted you to be alive. He wanted you on this earth, and He thinks you are full of potential. No one else can do what you can do in the way that you can do it. The worshipers over at Upper Room (they’re awesome, if you haven’t heard of them, you should check them out) have a great song that talks about how no one can love the Lord the way you love the Lord, because you were made uniquely with purpose and destiny in mind. Comparing yourself to other people is a fruitless exercise! They can’t do what you can do, and you can’t do what they can do. You are you, and they are them. Love them for being them, and love you for being you. Stay in the secret place and allow God to transform you into the best you that you could possibly be.
Now, I say all of this not to say that social media is evil and that you shouldn’t be on it. There are lots of aspects of social media that are really great. But be aware of the trap the enemy has set so that you don’t fall into it. Handle it with care. Ask Holy Spirit to search your heart on the subject and remove anything that is not of Him. He is so faithful to purify our hearts, all we need to do is ask! Also, don’t allow the enemy to place any condemnation on you about how you may have approached social media in the past. It’s an easy trap to fall into, and it doesn’t change how God sees you at all. He still delights in you.
Love you guys!
- Kaleb